X MARKS THE SPOT

It’s a beautiful day on Bay Street. The sun is shining. The birds (normally evil) are calm, and picking at an old sandwich on the sidewalk. My coffee is piping, and sharp. Most importantly, I got my hair to do the Natalie Wood flip. Yes, it is a beautiful day on Bay Street but….no…not today…he’s so young…it’s too soon…someone help him!!!!!!!

It’s too late.

You are probably wondering what the hell I am talking about. This young man mentioned above…failed to cut his suit jacket vent stitch (sometimes also known as a tack). What is a vent stitch you ask? Oh honey, oh sweetie. A vent stitch is the X mark that is sewn onto the flap of various clothing items, usually to protect the garment when it is being shipped. You will see the stitch when purchasing a blazer, coat, pencil skirt (etc) on the back flap (pictured below).

skirt

Now I know I can holla at my classmates (as I am a fashion student), and they can identify with this awful sorrow that my eyes must be subjected to on a daily basis. It has forever baffled me that so many people will wear their clothes with this pivotal detail unnoticed. My personal favourite is the pencil skirt wearing woman who thinks her skirt has been manufactured to make her walk like a duck. Feet inverted when walking, not knowing the freedom she (or he) could have if they would just grab a pair of scissors.

I have had thoughts of running around town with a pair of shears, and a pink bedazzled mask. Being the hero everyone needs, and secretly snipping all the vent stitches in my path. More than likely this story will end in jail time, rather than a giant E broadcasted in the sky whenever the city of Toronto is facing fashion villains. Damn, that would be cool.

My point is simply, cut the damn vent stitch. It’s not meant to be there. It’s not meant to do anything aesthetically pleasing. Honestly, it makes you appear lazy. God help you if you are the man on Bay street interviewing for a big job, and your interviewer cannot help but notice THE STUPID GIANT X ON YOUR BUTT. Like c’mon Bob, how are you supposed hold your own against a competing company when you can’t even remember to cut the tack on your new 6000 dollar D&G suit?

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